Forbidden
by hawkstar2
Summary: He's forbidden to have a mate. Will Jayfeather follow in the footsteps of his mother or shut off all feelings he has for Briarlight? Set in the middle of Night Whispers, will likely remain a one-shot :)


**A/N: I have to say, I've been reading _Warriors_ for almost 9 years now and I have NEVER loved a pairing as much as I love the pairings in Omen of the Stars! Well, maybe Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw, maybe…But anyways, I haven't written in like, forever, so I decided that since I was FINALLY able to read Omen of the Stars (I wasn't able to when it first came out my Sophomore year because of work and all so I'm just starting it, well, almost done with book 3 Night Whispers). So yeah, this is just a one-shot of Jayfeather and Briarlight because I love them :D I haven't read all of Omen of the Stars, so this is just set in the frame of information that I know from about the middle of Night Whispers and before! Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: I'm not Erin Hunter, though I did get to meet one of the lovely ladies a few years back and it was AWESOME!

Forbidden

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Jayfeather's POV

"Again!"

Briarlight shot me yet another small hiss as she took a deep breath in and yowled. Her exercises had increased from simply going back and forth to the fresh kill pile and yowling a little bit to now pacing the medicine den, aiding me with sorting herbs, and yowling much, much more often. Which, to no surprise, sends Millie into the den in an instant.

"Jayfeather WHAT are you doing to her?! Can't you tell that she doesn't want to do this? It's doing no good to exhaust her with this wailing!"

I rolled my eyes, sure let's _not_ trust the medicine cat. Mouse-brain.

"Mom, stop it, it is helping! Really! See, my cough has all but gone away, and the few times that I do cough it's only a minor wheeze, Jayfeather knows what he's doing." I could feel Briarlight pressing her opinion onto her mother and doing her best to persuade her.

"A-are you sure? It just doesn't seem like there's…you know, much of a point?"

Shock pulsated off of Briarlight's pelt, turning the already sour mood stiff. How she could say something like that was beyond me.

"How about you go out on a patrol to clear your thoughts, hm? Go and come back and tell me all about it and I will live vicariously through _your_ life mother." Briarlight spat the words out at Millie, hauled herself up and sauntered back into the far back corner of the medicine den where all the herbs are kept.

"I think I'll go talk to her." I mumbled, turning my back on Millie before she was able to utter anything else. How could she not see what she was doing to her daughter!? At least Squirrelflight never did that…no. She lied. She and Leafpool both. They lied to me, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, Brambleclaw, Firestar, and everyone in the Clan and all the others as well.

But at least they never said such hateful things about my blindness. They looked for something that I could still be used for, to still make an impact on the Clan.

That's what I have to do for Briarlight.

Briarlight POV

My heart thumped against my ribcage as I drug myself and my useless legs back to the back of Jayfeather's den. How could she look me straight in my eyes and say that to me?! The hurt, the confusion, the…love in Millie's eyes burns in the back of my mind. I know I'm useless to the Clan. I can't hunt; I can barely get to the dirt place and back. I'll never have a mate. I'll never have kits. I'll never be able to defend myself or anyone.

"Briarlight?"

Jayfeather's whisper made me jump and broke my thoughts. I tried to mask my emotion and try to not let Jay know I had felt the way I did. He was much happier when I had a positive attitude.

"Yes! I-I'm just, uh, counting some herbs. We need more comfrey and cat mint I think. How are your herbs you take care of?"

"They're fending well, but not enough to be harvested yet."

"That's too bad…" Awkward silence filled the air. I closed my eyes and took a breath, upon opening my eyes again Jayfeather had somehow crossed the length of the den and was positioned directly in front of me. His tale curled neatly around his front paw, the tip barely brushing my forepaws, his head tilted slightly, sightless blue eyes starring directly into mine.

"Your uh, chest sounds better." He stammered.

"Because of you and forcing me to wail at the top of my lungs all the time." I said snarky, with just enough of an undertone to let him know I was joking.

"I know what you're going through Briarlight. You feel useless. You can't go somewhere without others' worrying. You can't hunt on your own. You have to ask for things that others do without thinking. You're confined to a den all day with nothing but your thoughts, the smell of a mixture of herbs, and the occasional injured cat for company." Pain and extreme understanding clogged his small speech, his voice down to a barely audible whisper. I leaned forward and pushed my forehead under his chin, his warm breath landing on my ear.

Jayfeather took a breath and continued, "But you _are_ useful. You can go places, you can make an impact. You've already made one here. Don't let what your mom says or what you may hear from others bother you. Listen to…me."

This can't be happening. He's a medicine cat. I can't love him…

Can I?

Jayfeather POV

"…Listen to…me."

I stopped. I have to stop myself. This isn't allowed. It's forbidden from the warrior code. It's what my….mother…did. I can't be a hypocrite. Not about this.

I can't have feelings for her.

I can't.

I need to talk to Yellowfang.

I need to think…logically.

"So, um, yeah, uh, let's finish counting the rest of these herbs. I can tell Brightheart what to keep an eye out for when she goes on patrol next."

Briarlight stiffened and stretched.

"Actually, if it was okay with you I was going to um, go see what the kits were up to." She stuttered.

Relief flooded through me and I tried my best to mask it. "Yeah! Great idea, they haven't played much today they probably miss you."

Briarlight shuffled past, her pelt barely brushing against my flank, her scent still heavy in the air. After she was definitely out of the den I circled the area and eventually flopped down on some random strands of moss on the den floor. Closing my eyes I drifted into sleep.

"Get up!" a sharp paw prodded me in the side.

"Oomph! What!? Oh, hi Yellowfang."

"Follow me." she gruffed. The old cat was usually snarky and rude, but this was commanding. Did she know about Briarlight and him?

Yellowfang led him through winding paths, up a creek, through a ravine, and finally stopped at the base of a rock face.

"So, is there a reason we've travelled this far?" I asked, a little unsure of the answer I was seeking.

"You're the one who sent for me. I figured given the topic that you actually _wanted_ my advice that it may be important enough to discuss away from any nosy listeners."

I gulped what felt like cotton instead of saliva. How could I talk to a StarClan cat about Briarlight?

"You know the code, Jayfeather. And you of all cats should realize the punishment and the shame of a medicine cat with a mate." Yellowfang took the ropes of the conversation.

"That's not the issue."

"Don't lie to me Jayfeather!" Yellowfang half yelled, half laughed.

"No, really. I don't know. I know I cannot have a mate. I can never call any other cat my mate; it's a stipulation of being a medicine cat. But, she cannot either, can she? It'd be too dangerous for her to pass kits. She wouldn't be able to. Would she?"

Yellowfang looked generally surprised. "So, you aren't seeking her as a mate?"

"I don't. No. No, I'm not seeking her as a mate, but how do I cope Yellowfang!? I don't understand this it's so unfair! Why Briarlight!? Huh? Why did StarClan allow this to happen!? Why can't I talk to her and console her without my judgment and my mind being clouded by how much I long for this to _NOT_ be her future!?"

"That I cannot answer for you, Jayfeather. I've shown you what happened between myself and my forbidden love. Your mother Leafpool is still suffering from her decision. You're going to have to figure out a way to let this pass. You are a medicine cat. Not only that, you are one of the Three." Yellowfang's outline began to slowly fade away as she spoke.

"That's no help at all Yellowfang!"

"Jayfeather?"

Briarlight's concerned mew shocked the dream away.

"Yes!" I snapped accidentally.

"You were writhing in your sleep and growling…I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I spoke with Brightheart, she and Millie are out searching for herbs." Briarlight seemed quite unmoved by his accidental outburst.

"What do you think of me, Jayfeather?" Briarlight's question dropped out of the air like a stone on Jayfeather's head, totally random, totally legitimate.

"I think you're a great, um, assistant. I think you're alive for a reason; it wasn't your time to go to StarClan when Longtail did. I think it's nice to have company around the medicine den too…" Jayfeather's voice trailed off.

"You're forbidden from having a mate; I will never have a mate, why can't I stay here, with you? I'm learning quickly, I know what herbs are used most at least. But I can learn, Jayfeather! I can learn to be useful again, at least to you…"

Briarlight POV

Jayfeather flicked his ear, as if seriously considering the option. She couldn't believe she just laid out all of her feelings like a blackbird in the snow, in the open and totally obvious. It was totally forbidden, for them to be mates, but what about…partners or something? Surely it couldn't be bad.

"No matter what we both know what we really want out of it Briarlight." Her name slid easily out of his mouth. Naturally.

"We don't have to tell anyone the truth; it'll just be between us."

"No secrets."

Briarlight suddenly remembered Jayfeather's opinion on these kinds of secrets because of his past. There has to be a way though.

"Okay, then I enjoy your company and this is the one place I feel truly useful, so I choose to stay here, in the medicine cat's den, helping clean and organize herbs and keeping nosy kits out of trouble."

Jayfeather sat down next to her and starred into her eyes, past her soul. It was weird how he was able to look directly at someone if he chose to. His eyes shone with longing and inner conflict. She could tell he was considering every option, because that's what Jayfeather was good at, examining things from all different angles. She could hear the pounding of his heart and hers. He was seriously weighing the possibilities.

"No one is to know about this. We aren't mates. It'd be much too dangerous for both of us, as well as completely going against the warrior code. I want you to feel needed, useful, and I want you to stay here. There's no harm in having a lot of cats that know about a lot of herbs. If I'm ever gone and help is needed, you will be there. But if this gets too far you will have to leave the medicine den." Jayfeather's eyes showed an inner war between himself, his past, his future, and the ways of the Clans. He was twisting rules and understandings of such to coincide with our needs.

Though every bit of it is wrong.

I need him. No other warrior in ThunderClan makes me feel the way he does. I don't know if he needs me, but if he's willing to risk everything like this, especially given his own family history, it's got to mean something…right?

Jayfeather ran his muzzle across her front shoulder, slowly using his neck to push her up in the process.

"Come on, we have exercises we need to finish."

Briarlight's spirits soared, never before had she been so willing and ready to yowl to her heart's content. This was enough. It may not be the path that she had longed for in life, but it was all she needed now.

Jayfeather POV

Briarlight's coat bristled with excitement when told to do her exercises. Surely enough after a couple minutes of yowling Millie would appear again, like always.

But this was a routine that he didn't mind being a part of.

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**A/N: I may write more about Lionblaze and Cinderheart, or Tigerheart and Dovepaw...haven't decided yet! Reviews are awesome! **

**~hawkstar2**


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